Is flirting cheating? This question is for those who are already in a relationship and the answer depends on how you look at it. On the one hand many people see it as harmless but on the other it is often a prelude to something more.
Depending on what sort of boundaries you have and other factors, flirting can cause a lot of heartbreak and pain. There really is no black and white answer. Sometimes people may be highly gregarious and extroverted and have no desire to lead anyone on and this can be seen as harmless depending on their nature.
On the other hand there are those who are trying to suss out just how far they can go to get someone’s attention.
Flirting doesn’t necessarily indicate a desire to have sex with someone else. It just means that you’re behaving like you’re attracted to someone but do not have any serious intentions.
Whether this is tantamount to cheating is negligible.
While flirting may not be technically cheating it can be viewed as being unfaithful because you are showing interest in someone else and it can be the start of looking towards external validation and possible affairs and the like down the road.
There are instances however where couples also find that it adds a bit of spice to their relationship but this should be approached with caution and both parties must understand and agree to whatever boundaries have been set if there are any.
Some questions to ask yourself if you find yourself flirting with someone who isn’t your partner includes the following:
- What am I looking for from this; is it attention, respect, admiration?
- Am I not getting the above from my significant other?
- How can I ensure that my needs are met from my partner instead of resorting to external validation.
One option is to have this discussion when you establish exclusivity in the relationship.
License marriage and family therapist Mike Kosim said in an article in Men’s Health that at the end of the day it is all about breaking agreements.
“Clarity is key, whether you view flirting as a healthy activity or a potentially harmful one. The process of being clear lets you understand both what you’re discussing with your partner more and the process that they use to be in a relationship,” said Kosim. Being clear about things like this also help build the relationship.
That said, understand that not having this conversation doesn’t give you a free pass to flirt as much as you like. “There is no excuse for behaving disrespectfully in a relationship and pretending nothing has happened.”
Talk things through and be clear with each other so that your relationship style isn’t misinterpreted leading to arguments and heartbreak down the road.