Wednesday, June 29, 2022
RelationshipsGhosting Part 2; how to get closure and move on

Ghosting Part 2; how to get closure and move on

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In an earlier story The Independent explored why ghosting happens. This installment is all about coping with being ghosted. The first thing to remember to get some sort of closure is not to delve into the why or try and figure out what you could or should have said to prevent the other person from ghosting you.

Studies show that being ghosted brings up complex emotions that are close to physical pain as does rejection in general. Understand that most of the time ghosting is not about you but reflects more on the ghoster itself. So do not blame yourself. It’s not personal and don’t put up a wall around you just because of it.

Prioritize yourself. Self care should be your focus in the aftermath of ghosting. Take time out to be with friends and family and people who support you and care for you. Indulge in activities that make you happy whether it’s physical like cycling, swimming, running or yoga or more mentally engaging such as meditation, painting, talking to friends or shopping.

When you think of the ghoster and the why question starts to happen remember to remind yourself and reframe your perception of them. It is the other person who broke your trust and digressed from what is needed to be in a mature, healthy relationship. So take heart that this wasn’t and isn’t the right person for you anyway.

Take a break from dating apps for a while. Avoid them for as long as you need. Go offline and detox from social media if you have to. In a time when relationships that start online are becoming more common, being ghosted by someone with whom you’ve kept up closely through text or social media can make you feel alienated or isolated from digital communities. This means that you need to set up a system where not all your helplines are digital or social media related, meet real people and talk to friends outside of texts and calls.

Don’t indulge in negative self talk as ghosting can also affect your self worth and negatively impact your current and future relationships whether romantic or in general.

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