An aggressive and controlling partner makes for a difficult life. Stereotypically it is generally the male who is aggressive but it can also be the female. A partner like this often makes you feel angry, sad or like you’re walking on eggshells.
Although it is always better to look for signs earlier on in the relationship this isn’t always possible. But if you’re in a relationship like this and you’re not able to walk away because it is not something that you can do for any reason or if there are other redeeming qualities about your partner aside from being a little aggressive or abrasive here’s what you can do.
Placate your partner
Look for ways to pacify or calm your partner down. Getting angry about them getting aggressive will only aggravate the situation. Let your partner cool down before things get out of hand. The calmer you remain during an argument the faster your partner will forget why he or she lost their temper in the first place. However be sure that you don’t allow yourself to be harmed physically or mentally.
Never ignore them
Ignoring them when they are angry or making them feel as if their grouses are not being heard will only antagonize them further. If your partner is getting violent or abusive then it’s best to get help.
Talk to them calmly
Once things have died down, convey how you feel about their rage and how it was not necessary at all to get into such a situation. Be assertive, honest and confident in your communication but don’t blame your partner.
Be resilient
Patience and resilience will go a long way in dealing with significant others who have such personalities. Try and ascertain what your partners triggers are, what sets them off and establish how communication on such topics can be going forward.
If possible think about a counselor or someone who can subtly convey how communication can help instead of aggressive behavior and mannerisms.
It’s not your fault
Whether you’re male or female, more often than not females especially tend to blame themselves and especially so because aggressive people tend to not take responsibility for their behavior often alleging that they were ‘provoked’ into such reactions.
Try and remember while it is true that sometimes people do get provoked the reaction should match the provocation to some extent and not extend into aggressive, rude and rage inducing behavior.
Reflect
Take a good hard look at what you will and will not accept. If you’ve tried everything and life is becoming miserable living with such a person, no matter what the difficulties and challenges of leaving may be it might be worth considering for your sanity and peace of mind.