Pyschologists say one of the best ways to get a narcissist out of your life or out of your hair if it’s not possible to leave is by gray rocking them.
This method can be used when dealing with a toxic co-worker, spouse, co-parent or even a parent.
It allows you to live alongside a narcissist without sacrificing your mental health as it isn’t always possible to walk out of a life or work situation.
Toxic people attract us with their larger than life, glamourous and often charismatic personalities. Down the road we may find their narcissistic or highly manipulative traits impossible to live or work with. Then what? When the mask falls off and the bully or abusive person is revealed one sure-fire way to get them off your back is by doing what is called the ‘gray rock method’.
What does this entail? It basically means becoming uninteresting or unresponsive in the eyes of the narcissist or becoming a gray rock.
Also known as gray-walling this method involves becoming as dull or uninteresting as possible. Keep your responses to a minimum, one word answers are best. This way they will lose interest in you.
The gray rock method is to provide as little input and avoid reacting to, engaging with or even acknowledging the other party’s attempt to manipulate or create a chaotic or toxic situation.
Clinical psychologist at the Massachusetts Association for Psychoanalytic Psychology, Nadine van der Linden said the gray rocking technique can be used in response to abusive, controlling and manipulative behaviours.
It is an effective short-term response to manipulative behaviour. However it is important to understand that you shouldn’t have to change who you are in order to feel safe or secure.
The end goal of this method is really to establish and maintain boundaries and to stop negative behavior in its tracks.
The aim of gray rocking is to make the narcissist lose interest in you.This way you don’t fuel their need for drama or attention, don’t show emotion or reveal any kind of personal information.
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