narcissist

Lots of people have a type when it comes to choosing a partner and a narcissist is no different. However, some people are narcissists’ magnets and these people unfortunately may have a lot of good qualities that are inadvertently attracting this category of toxic people.

Narcissists have a ridiculous sense of grandiosity, lack empathy and possess many narcissistic traits and the people that they look for are often those who are high in empathy and have attributes like beauty, wealth or status.

“Narcissists need narcissistic supply, meaning attention, validation and recognition from other people to fuel their grandiose sense of self. That means narcissists will naturally be drawn to people who are highly agreeable, who go with the flow, want to keep the peace, don’t like conflict,” says Chelsey Cole, psychotherapist and author of “If Only I’d Known: How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth.”

The narcissist

Cole says the danger is nice people who always seem to go with the flow, are highly agreeable, want to keep the peace and don’t like conflict are the biggest targets for this toxic category of people.

They go after people who see the best in others and have a tendency to overthink, are easily guilt tripped, second guess themselves and have a compassionate heart. This means empaths or empathic people are the biggest target as they show their vulnerability quickly too.

Psychotherapist and author of Healing From Toxic Relationships: 10 Essential Steps to Recover from Gaslighting, Narcissism and Emotional Abuse, Stephanie Sarkis says that narcissists get empaths to open up to them by sharing their own bad experiences which are often not really bad but more to make the empaths establish a kinship with them.

“Humans do social reciprocity. When you’re an empathic person, we tend to respond in kind, because this person just shared this stuff with us, so we are more likely to share our stuff when it’s too early to do that. Keep in mind: People earn our vulnerability,” says Sarkis.

So the general advice is if you possess any of the above qualities take time to get to know someone and safeguard yourself. Being a nice, kind and compassionate person is a good thing but be wary of narcissistic predators.

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