There are some personalities who come across as intimidating and off-putting without people even realising it and although in general it’s ok not to worry about what people think about you all the time but there are times when how you are perceived is important and can affect your life in many ways.
Most of the time coming across as intimidating is related to how you communicate. Clinical psychologist Joshua Klapow in an interview with Bustle says that “Individuals who are extroverts, who [have] Attention Deficit Disorder, who have grown up in very verbal families, who work in environments where verbal intimidation is commonplace, all [can] develop styles of communication that can be seen by others as intimidating.”
Dr Klapow says that if you’re giving off intimidating energy people physically back away as you’re talking. “They take a step back; they end conversations and look to leave the room. If you notice people doing this around you, it could be because they feel you’re encroaching on their space. Standing a bit further back and speaking at a lower volume can prevent this.”
“You may be positive, passionate and engaged, and yet no one seems to reciprocate.” While it may be accepted among your family and people who love you, it’s important to match the tone of those around you in other environments.
Another sign that people may be intimidated by you is that they avoid eye contact. They could be looking away when you’re talking or looking down. Conversation is non-existent as well. Others simply go silent and let you speak. The will also just agree with you in order to maybe keep you quiet or because you are so dominating that they don’t feel like disagreeing with you.
Note that if your suggestions are automatically agreed upon it may not be because you have good ones, people may just find you simply too intimidating to contradict and secretly resent you.
Often intimidating people also make others want to keep a physical distance. If you’re talking to a group of people they may back away or choose seats that are farther away from you.
Some may just say they are sorry to keep the peace and tend to over apologise because they find you too intimidating. Trivial things often don’t require an apology but if you see this happening too often, it could be because you are just too intimidating.
Another clear sign that someone’s personality is simply too intimidating is that’s people avoid you. Toxic people love to steer the conversation back to themselves. If you come across as intimidating many a time you will find people simply avoiding you.
You may also be perceived as intimidating if you find that you’re restless to say something and tend to cut people off. If you’re so nervous that you can’t wait to let others finish speaking, it may be worthwhile to find new ways to practice mindfulness, or even find a therapist who can help you.
“People will often perceive you as intimidating when you’re extremely assertive. When you’re quick to speak your mind and expect the same from others, your personality can come off as aggressive by people.” says psychotherapist Adamaris Mendoza.
Therefore its important to be able to read the room and assess how you are perceived, more so among quiet or sensitive people in order to avoid being resented or disliked for your thoughts and opinions. No doubt one should not have to change their entire personality to accommodate others but small actions can often make people more comfortable and bring about great results and cohesiveness.
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