Emily in Paris star Lily Collins may seem to have a fairy-tale romance on-screen but in real life, it is far from the truth.

Since 2021, Collins has been married to filmmaker Charlie McDowell. However, prior to this relationship, the actress revealed in a recent episode of the We Can Do Hard Things podcast that she was in an emotionally abusive relationship.

Lily Collins was in a toxic, emotionally abusive relationship

She endured a toxic relationship with a former boyfriend in her “early 20s.” She told co-hosts Glennon Doyle, Amanda Doyle and Abby Wambach that her relationship was verbal and emotional abuse and being made to feel very small.

Lily Collins vs verbal abuses

The actress continued, “He would call me ‘Little Lily.’ You should be ‘Little Lily’ and he’d use awful words about me in terms of what I was wearing and would call me a whore and all these things.”

The person also told her what to do, what to say or not say, what to wear or not wear. It was a lot of emotional abuse.

“I became quite silent and comfortable in silence and feeling like I had to make myself small to feel super safe.”

A toll on Physical Health

The 33-year-old actress said that because of the emotional abuse, she also suffered physically. Collin’s skin was breaking out, she had panic attacks and kidney infections. She explained that she had all of these weird physical manifestations and did not realise that to put the two and two together.

“This is not something you’re supposed to be in.” It has been a decade since the relationship ended but she is still triggered by it to this day.

“Even if I’m in the most healthy relationship, there can be a moment that happens throughout the day where history comes back like that,” Lily Collins said. “Your gut reacts, your heart drops and all of the sudden you’re taken back to that moment where they said that thing to you 10 years ago but you’re not in that situation now.”

Charlie treats her well now

However, she added that her husband Charlie McDowell, who she wed in 2021, has been a big help in helping her navigate this reality: “I’ve had these moments in the past but never felt like I was in a safe enough space to show it in the moment or the person wasn’t as aware or knew me well enough to see that look and know somethings happened.”

Lily Collins continued, “When I’m in one of those moments, it is so clear to Charlie, who can read me like a book, and he calls it out in a moment. This is what healthy conversation and healthy communication can feel like. When someone can lovingly bring to your attention or call out something that doesn’t feel right or that they want to help you with, it may feel uncomfortable but it’s for the best.”