Relationships are difficult and it’s hard to ascertain if the person you’re with is going to be a serial cheater. An isolated incident maybe forgivable but serial cheaters are a different matter altogether.

How to know who is a serial cheater?

Some people are just chronic cheaters. Psychologist Dr Ildiko Tabori said that there are some common characteristics when identifying cheaters.

“There are psychological characteristics that are more prevalent and revealing about the personality traits of people who cheat,” said Dr IIdiko Tabori.

Warning signs include

They love drama

If your partner seems bored by happy, stable relationships, run for the hills. This is perhaps the sign of a serial cheater.

“People who cheat prefer to ride an emotional roller coaster rather than find joy in emotional stability. They get an adrenaline rush from the figurative bumps and bruises that cause strife and turmoil with their significant other and their second significant other because it leads to the intoxication of making up again and again,” says Dr Tabori.

They’re patently unhappy

People who are satisfied with their relationship don’t see a need to cheat. A better option than cheating would of course be to end the relationship but unfortunately many don’t and choose to cheat instead.

They are afraid of being alone

Dr Tabori says that cheaters have a deep seated fear of being abandoned. The second relationship actually is a back up or security blanket for them against emotional loneliness.

However this often backfires as when their partner finds out about the cheating the may end up alone anyway.

Opportunistic

They can be very opportunistic. According to United States divorce lawyer Joshua Forman who works at Chemtob Moss & Forman divorces can be brutal but the signs may have been there from the very beginning.

“Some people do change, but as a whole, if someone cheated on you before you got married, a leopard doesn’t change their spots. They might get good for a couple of months, but it’s not the kind of thing that changes. The personality traits of someone who is dishonest in work or in other areas spill over into personal life.”

Compulsive cheaters

Dr Tabori also says that unfortunately these compulsive cheaters are also in position of power and can be very manipulative and calculating.

“One is more likely to cheat when the opportunity arises, not simply when they are away from their significant other, but when the opportunity to prey upon a potential mate presents itself. People who cheat will look for opportunities where the potential mate may be in a vulnerable state, such as after a breakup or divorce.

When the preyed-upon is in a more vulnerable state, they are more likely to be open to and engage in the cheating behaviour because they miss the feeling of being loved and are not emotionally grounded enough yet to secure boundaries.”

How scary is that? To know that you are in a relationship with a serial cheater!